In Essays on
October 9, 2016

Hey, Your Expectations Are Making You Miserable

A few words on five-year plans & unrealistic expectations.


You thought you’d be pretty wealthy by now.

In love.

Smiling faces.

Strolls in the park on a Sunday.

Maybe even starting a family.

You thought you’d have a big house. Your own house. 

Those online success stories? That was meant to be you

You were meant to be living the life.

But you’re not. You’re nowhere near where you thought you would be. You wonder if you ever will be. 

So, instead, you curse yourself for being lazy.

You brand yourself a “failure”. 

You think back to all the times you watched Netflix instead of hustling and you feel ashamed. 

“Should I have networked more?”, you wonder.

“Should I have gone to the gym more?”

“Should I have spent less time browsing the internet?”

“Why didn’t I do more?”

You look at the lives of others who appear to have it made, and wonder why it isn’t you. 

It could have been you.

It was meant to be you. 

And in doing so, you forget all the good.

The good things you’ve done, the times you’ve shone.

And everything you’ve had to overcome.

You forget that it wasn’t always easy.

You forget that time you hit rock bottom.

Or how you once would’ve loved to have what you have now.

You’ve shown up to your life every day, even when it’s been tough.

And yet you give yourself no credit. 

You simply compare yourself to others and carry on. 

Just think about that for a second. 

Your expectations are making you miserable.

They’re making you be unkind to yourself.

They’re removing the pleasure and pride from an otherwise good life.

And it has to stop.


Throw the timeline in your head away, today.

Because where did these ridiculous expectations really come from, anyway?

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  • Laura

    I could really recognize myself in this post! It was a welcome reminder to remember to be kinder to myself too, not just others. Thank you! 🙂

    Laura // Middle of Adventure

    October 9, 2016 at 7:44 pm Reply
  • walkiria

    Loved this post!! Some powerful reminders here for me. Who put all these expectations on me. How can I free myself from outside pressure and just be?
    Thank you Bianca for prompting some badly needed self reflection.

    October 9, 2016 at 9:30 pm Reply
  • Sophie

    Completely agree. I don’t even think of things like that as plans, I call them fantasies. Nice to fall asleep thinking about but something that you’re not caught up in the outcome on a day to day basis.

    October 10, 2016 at 9:23 am Reply
  • Wendy

    Uhm Bianca… how are you in my head?! This topic is exactly what I’ve been thinking about for a while now ( that what we do is never enough), yet I still needed to hear this. Thanks! 🙂

    x Wendy

    October 10, 2016 at 1:58 pm Reply
  • Rohan Bhardwaj

    Expectations hurts often. It is better to keep doing the stuff you love and the change will happen if you are working towards it. Beautiful reminder.

    October 17, 2016 at 5:50 am Reply
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