In the world through which I travel, I am endlessly creating myself.
Aged 12, I wanted to be the most popular girl at school. By 16, I realised that suburban social hierarchies were boring and became fascinated by the big city. Yet come 18, while living in London, I learned that there’s so much more to ‘happiness’ than a location.
Isn’t it funny how much we reinvent ourselves as teenagers, only to slow down when we’re adults and finally have the power to be anyone we want?
‘Remind yourself, nobody’s built like you, you design yourself‘ is a Jay Z lyric I’ve loved since 2006 (long before the LEMONADE scandal, so hear me out y’all).
These words have stayed with me in my darkest moments – on the bathroom floor after a devastating break up – and my brightest – skipping across Waterloo Bridge in the sun after getting my dream job.
You see, redesigning myself is my life mission. Call it my masterpiece if you will, forever in progress.
On any given day, my aspirations can vary from corporate ladder climber (YSL trouser suit and all) to wildly creative. I’ve wanted to have a lot of money and I’ve wanted to be a cliched ‘struggling artist’. I’ve changed my mind about ideals, places and people. As someone who was once obsessed with personal style, I’m now intrigued by personal development.
I embrace the unexpected ebbs and flows. I lean it to the plot twists of my life.
Because, as Malcolm Gladwell says, if you’re contradicting yourself often, you’re actually thinking.
Redesigning yourself may not be easy, but it’s essential.
There’s no limit to how many times you can start over. Redesign yourself every day, in some way. Be the person who is a barefoot bohemian one day and wears a pussybow blouse the next. Burn down. Resurrect. Repeat. Let go of the idea that you must be who you’ve always been or, even worse, who you think you should be.
Let’s think creatively and inventively and infinitely, just as we did when we were teenagers.
Keep daydreaming. Keep imagining your next reincarnation – big or small – and make it happen.
Sometimes it’s beautiful. Sometimes it’s brutal. But it’s always worth it.
I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.